Dating Yourself First: How to Fall in Love with YOU Again
After a breakup, it’s easy to feel like you need someone new to fill the void. But what if the next relationship you need to invest in isn’t with another person… but with yourself?
Dating yourself first isn’t just a cute self-care trend. It’s a powerful, transformative journey that helps you rebuild confidence, deepen self-love, and create a life you genuinely enjoy—with or without a partner.
This guide is for anyone who’s felt lost after love, who gave too much in their last relationship, or who wants to feel whole again. Here’s how to fall in love with YOU again.
What Does It Mean to Date Yourself First?
Dating yourself means intentionally giving yourself the love, attention, and care you might usually give to someone else.
It’s about:
- Taking yourself on solo adventures
- Learning to enjoy your own company
- Rebuilding self-trust and self-worth
- Honoring your needs, boundaries, and desires
You’re not waiting to be loved. You’re becoming love.
By dating yourself first, you create a strong foundation of self-respect and emotional resilience that protects you from settling, people-pleasing, or losing yourself in future relationships.
Signs You Need to Fall in Love with Yourself Again
Not sure if you need this. Here are common signs:
- You feel anxious when you’re alone
- You seek validation through dating apps or your ex’s attention
- You’ve lost touch with your passions, goals, or personality
- You feel emotionally drained or resentful after giving too much
- You’re afraid to set boundaries or say no
If you nodded at any of these, it’s time to turn your attention inward and begin the healing process by dating yourself first.
10 Ways to Date Yourself First and Build Real Self-Love
You don’t have to wait for a partner to treat you how you want. Start showing up for yourself now.
1. Take Yourself on Solo Dates
Go out alone and do something you love. Visit a museum, have a coffee date, take a walk in the park, or try a new restaurant. The more you enjoy your own company, the more magnetic your energy becomes.
2. Create a Self-Love Journal
Document your feelings, wins, and intentions. Ask yourself powerful questions like:
- What do I need right now?
- What makes me feel alive?
- What am I proud of today?
Journaling helps you reconnect with your true voice.
3. Learn a New Skill or Hobby
Take a cooking class, learn pottery, start painting, or grow your own herbs. Rebuilding your identity around joy (not your ex) gives your confidence a powerful boost.
4. Rebuild Your Routine
Create daily rituals that support your healing. The structure nurtures growth through morning stretches, skincare, quiet reflection, and nutritious meals.
5. Buy Yourself Flowers (and Mean It)
This isn’t about Instagram aesthetics. It’s about acknowledging that you are worthy of beauty and love without needing someone else to deliver it.
6. Set Boundaries Without Guilt
Start saying no to what drains you and yes to what aligns with your healing. Boundaries are an act of self-respect, not rejection.
7. Celebrate Yourself
Don’t wait for birthdays or big moments. Celebrate small wins: getting out of bed, showing up, and completing your goals. You are worth celebrating every day.
8. Reclaim Your Body
Make peace with your body again through movement, dance, rest, or a long bath. It’s carried you through heartbreak. Show it some love.
9. Unplug and Be Present
Disconnect from social media, especially if you’re stalking your ex or comparing your life to others. Presence leads to peace.
10. Talk to Yourself with Compassion
You are not your mistakes. You are not too much. You are not unlovable. Speak to yourself like someone you deeply care about. Because you are.
How Dating Yourself First Changes Everything
When you prioritize dating yourself first, you:
- Set higher standards in future relationships
- Stop chasing love and start attracting aligned partners
- Heal emotional wounds instead of repeating patterns
- Feel fulfilled whether single or partnered
You become whole not because someone completes you but because you remember you were already whole all along.
What If You’re Still Heartbroken?
You can still be healing and fall in love with yourself.
If you’re still in the thick of heartbreak, try these gentle self-love steps:
- Write a letter to your past self, forgiving her for what she didn’t know
- Do inner child check-ins: ask yourself what your younger self needs right now
- Replace self-blame with self-compassion
- Create rituals of release: burn old notes, take cleansing baths, meditate on letting go
Healing doesn’t happen overnight. But every act of self-care is a brick on the path back to yourself.
The Power of Being Your Own Soulmate
The best part about dating yourself first? You become your own soulmate.
That means:
- You know how to meet your own needs
- You stop settling for less than you deserve
- You love your alone time
- You raise your vibration and attract better experiences
Falling in love with yourself first doesn’t make you less open to love—it makes you more ready for real love.
Real Talk From the MyExSucks Community
“After my breakup, I took myself on weekly solo dates. At first it felt awkward, but then I started looking forward to them. I felt like I was reconnecting with a best friend—myself.” – Chloe, 27
“I used to think being alone meant I was unwanted. Now I see it as sacred. I don’t need to be chosen to feel worthy anymore.” – Rae, 34
Want to share your story? DM us or comment below.
Conclusion: You Are the Love of Your Life
You don’t need to wait for someone to save you. You are not too broken, too much, or too late.
You are the love of your life.
Dating yourself first is about honoring that truth daily. The more you show up for yourself, the less you seek what you already carry inside.
So book that solo brunch, dance in your kitchen, and write yourself a love letter. You deserve it all.
And when do you meet someone new? You won’t lose yourself trying to be loved. You’ll already be deeply in love—with you.
Read Next: How to Rewire Your Brain After Heartbreak
